Do you know this? Busy all day, tired in the evening (or around noon :? ), next day the same, and the following day, and the day after…wondering WHY, because all that busy-ness never seems to lead to anything, at least not to anything of importance.
Dreams are lost on the way, occasional enthusiasm drowns in a workload which has only significance as far as quantity is concerned.
I have been living like this for years. No, not living. Existing. And it seemed normal to me, as most people around me existed the same way. It was so normal that I didn’t even question this lifestyle, until, well, until I couldn’t keep it up any longer. After several warnings (which I pushed aside, of course) I broke down completely. My strong will (or stubbornness, as I would call it) which used to supply me with sufficient energy to move from one day to the next was broken.
With the help of family and friends I recovered enough to decide on a radical change (in that case it was moving country and cutting off most connections to my former life – and no, I would NOT recommend it, there are much easier and more fun ways of turning one’s life around). This sudden change threw me off balance, but revived my stubbornness which resurfaced and kept me afloat. I began to heal.
Then just a few years later, I found myself in the same treadmill again, in a different country, with a different job, but nevertheless I recognized old patterns slowly reappearing.
And that was the point of change: Continue reading