Do you know this? Busy all day, tired in the evening (or around noon 😕 ), next day the same, and the following day, and the day after…wondering WHY, because all that busy-ness never seems to lead to anything, at least not to anything of importance.
Dreams are lost on the way, occasional enthusiasm drowns in a workload which has only significance as far as quantity is concerned.
I have been living like this for years. No, not living. Existing. And it seemed normal to me, as most people around me existed the same way. It was so normal that I didn’t even question this lifestyle, until, well, until I couldn’t keep it up any longer. After several warnings (which I pushed aside, of course) I broke down completely. My strong will (or stubbornness, as I would call it) which used to supply me with sufficient energy to move from one day to the next was broken.
With the help of family and friends I recovered enough to decide on a radical change (in that case it was moving country and cutting off most connections to my former life – and no, I would NOT recommend it, there are much easier and more fun ways of turning one’s life around). This sudden change threw me off balance, but revived my stubbornness which resurfaced and kept me afloat. I began to heal.
Then just a few years later, I found myself in the same treadmill again, in a different country, with a different job, but nevertheless I recognized old patterns slowly reappearing.
And that was the point of change: This time I was conscious of what was happening.
Could I prevent my life from getting worse again? No, I couldn’t (although it didn’t get quite as bad). I was only aware of it, just enough to make me question and compare.
Eventually I began to connect the dots, and as I did other pieces started falling into place. I began to see my mistakes AND how to do it better, next time.
Progress consists, not in the increase of truth, but in freeing it from its wrappings. The truth is obtained like gold, not by letting it grow bigger, but by washing off from it everything that isn’t gold.
“Next time” came. Did I manage? You bet 🙂
I started creating my own toolbox, a collection of ideas, techniques and reminders I came across (including other people’s experiences plus my own as a teacher), how I applied them, and what worked best in which situations. This toolbox, by the way, is my main source material for The Enermazing Project.
But despite this great variety, my three top “tools” were and still are:
- Trust that the best possible will happen – whatever that may be
- Replenishing my energy reservoirs with joy and fun – every day
- Keeping track of my progress and relapses – a simple scorecard does the trick
This last tool is what I had in mind when I started writing this post:
Keeping track – of life progress and relapses
- of how we spend our time – not as a time card, noting activities and their duration, but how often our thoughts and actions refill our energy reservoir or contribute to our dreams
- of how often we think the same thoughts – over and over again, without taking any action
- of habitual behaviour – recurrent problems and actions and reactions which happen “automatically”
- of what we wish for during a day
- last but not least, of how often our trust in life is rewarded by “things” turning out right or even better than we expected
What are you favourite life tools? How do you keep track of your personal progress – or, how do you know you advance in the “right” direction?
Stay on track 🙂
- Personal Progress (seacowcandy.wordpress.com)
- Daily Recovery Reading – October 12, 2011 (12stepsthinkaboutit.org)